I can't even think to think to write about that I can't take this life any longer. The mania, the screaming, hitting, kicking, destroying our home, destroying my mind. How can this be the same sweet boy who put on a magic show for me this afternoon and said "excuse me Mr.Mom" when he and Stitch walked by?. The screaming is blood curdling the violence is intentional. He's manic, he's pissed and I have no idea why. Can I survive this night? I say that every night like this, but honestly, every night I really don't know if I can survive... or want to. Have mercy on me, someone, someday. Please, I've had enough
